Drabbles
by Ultimate Queen of Cliffies
Summary: Just a series of random Wicked drabbles. Some belong together, some don't. The result of a bored me. Fiyeraba, Gelphie friendship. Rated T for language.
1. Assignment

**Hi! :D**

**Yes, I'm a bad person. I'm starting yet another fic... or, well, it's a series of drabbles, really. Mostly Fiyeraba. Things I thought of during my classes/lectures, mostly. Some will belong together; this first one is an introduction to the next five drabbles or so, which are the answers some of the students gave to the assignment described below. These ones take place in the students' final year at Shiz, so say about two years after Elphaba defied the Wizard and disappeared into hiding.**

**Enjoy & please review! :)**

* * *

**Assignment**

'I want to know,' Professor Dolorn explained to his students while handing out empty sheets of paper, 'if you can think of a decision you once made, something you did or failed to do, that you regret deeply. A decision, perhaps made in just a fraction of a clock-tick, that, had you just acted differently, would have changed your life forever. Write it down and hand it in. If you can't think of anything, try to imagine what such a moment could be and write that one down. Try to explain not only what the decision was, but the implications it had, and the implications it could have had, had you only acted differently. I think it'll be a good exercise for you – perhaps it'll teach you to think first, instead of acting on impulse, as all of you young people seem to do these days.' He paused and pretty much glared at his almost-graduates, disapproval written all over his face. He didn't expect too much of these students – they were just a bunch of partying nitwits. They'd probably come up with things like 'I regret losing my virginity to a boy I barely knew' and 'I regret not going to that amazifying party. Still, he was curious about their answers. 'You have twenty minutes. I expect your written answers on my desk at the end of the lesson.' He looked around solemnly. 'Good luck.'


	2. Pfannee

**Pfannee**

_I regret getting drunk at that party, because if I had just stayed sober, I wouldn't have gone with that guy and he wouldn't have told anyone that we had sex while really, we didn't, because I puked all over his bedroom floor and then passed out on the couch, so nothing happened, but now everyone believes I'm a slut because they think I slept with him, while really I didn't._

Professor Dolorn sighed. 'Really, Miss Pfannee?'

'Yes, really!' the girl cried. 'I didn't sleep with that boy! I swear! I'm not a slut!'

'Pfannee, you slept with nearly everyone,' said Milla, and her friend nodded. 'Well, yes, but not with the guy who called me a slut!'

'Sleeping with everyone is pretty much the definition of being a slut, Pfannee,' Shenshen told her, and Pfannee's lip started to tremble.

'What does one guy more or less matter, anyway?' asked Nessa primly. 'You have sinned anyway and the Unnamed God will punish you.'

'And whether you slept with that specific guy or not, you're still a slut,' Avaric declared with a grin. Pfannee burst into tears.

Dolorn sighed, shook his head, and moved on to the next answer.


	3. Nessarose

**Nessarose**

_I regret the day my sister was born. If not for her, my mother would still be alive and I would be able to walk and people wouldn't laugh at us because of her. I hate her. She ruined my life. She brought shame and disgrace upon our family. I wish she was never born._

'Miss Nessarose, that's not very nice,' Dolorn said disapprovingly. 'Rather harsh, even. No matter what your sister might have done.'

Nessa shrugged, her eyes cold. 'It's the truth.'

The professor shook his head. 'This wasn't the assignment, either. I wanted you to reconsider a decision you yourself made. Not your mother, or your sister, or anyone else for that matter. Please stay here for another few minutes to redo the assignment.'

Nessa threw her arms up in the air in exasperation, eyes blazing. 'Fine!'


	4. Boq

**Boq**

_I DEEPLY REGRET EVER TAKING NESSAROSE THROPP TO THAT DANCE AT THE OZDUST. SHE TURNED OUT TO BE A POSESSIVE BITCH. I REGRET BEING TOO SHY TO ASK OUT GLINDA. NOW I BLEW MY CHANCE WITH HER AND I'M STUCK WITH NESSA._

'Sweet Oz, children!' Professor Dolorn exclaimed in exasperation. 'What happened to tolerance and acceptance? Why are you all so hostile towards each other?'

'What little tolerance and acceptance there was around here in the first place disappeared with Elphie,' Glinda muttered under her breath. No one but Fiyero heard her.


	5. Glinda

**Glinda**

_I regret not going with her. I might have helped her. I should have been a better friend. It's the one thing I'll regret for the rest of my life._

'What is this about, Miss Glinda?' the professor asked with a sigh, having lost all confidence in his students' ability to take this assignment seriously. 'Regret not to go with someone to a party? Who is it you should have helped and what with? Some friend of yours with boy trouble? Or did her dress clash with yours? I know you dramatic you kids can get over silly things like this…'

Glinda pushed back her chair and rose from her seat, face flushed, eyes flaming. 'Excuse me, sir, but you have absolutely NO idea what you're talking about!' she snapped, before running off. Dolorn stared after her in wonder. Only then did he look back at the paper and realised there was more.

_Elphie, if only you could somehow read this… I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I can only hope that you're still alive and that one day, I'll be able to apologise to you in person, because you were the best friend I've ever had._

Dolorn removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Now he understood. Perhaps there were students taking this assignment seriously after all.

He held back one of Glinda's friends who was about to leave the classroom. 'If you see Miss Glinda…' He faltered, sighed, and finished, 'Tell her I'm sorry for what I said.'


	6. Nessarose 2

**AN: BlueD: Nope. He's not next. 3:)**

**Thank you all for reviewing! I personally really like the next one - Avaric. And Fiyero is up after that ^_^. Tomorrow, probably.**

* * *

**Nessarose 2**

_I believe we all start out in heaven, floating around as angels, before we are sent to Earth to be born, and we choose our own mothers and families. _

When Dolorn read the first sentence of Nessa's rewritten answer, he was tempted to call the girl to him and tell her sternly that this was Philosophy class, not Religion, but he decided to finish reading her answer before jumping to conclusions.

_Well, apparently, I chose wrong. I regret choosing the Thropp family to be born in. It would have been wonderful growing up in that family, if not for that aberration, that green freak, that ruined my life and_

He didn't even read on - this was just as bad as her previous answer had been. 'Miss Nessarose, please go report to the Headmistress immediately. I won't tolerate this behaviour in my class.'

The girl exploded. 'Fine!' she snapped, then rolled herself out of the classroom.


	7. Avaric

**Avaric**

_I wish I had just made my move on that hot girl last night. I'm sure she'd have given me a life-changing orgasm._

Professor Dolorn sighed again. 'Master Avaric…'

'Hey, _you_ said life-changing.' The boy flashed him a wicked grin.

'Master Avaric, this wasn't the assignment…' The professor looked up, but of course Avaric had already sneaked out of the classroom.


	8. Fiyero

**AN: The one you've been waiting for :).**

**One more drabble in the Assignment-series after this one, then I'm moving on to other drabbles that aren't related to the others. I have quite a few of them. What can I say? My lecture was really boring - who wants to be taught about Statistics, anyway?**

**Anywho, please review! :)**

* * *

**Fiyero**

_If I could just do that one day all over again, I wouldn't have chickened out. I would have kissed her, right there in that clearing, and I would have told her how I felt. I would have told her I loved her. Perhaps she would have slapped me and never talked to me again, but at the very least I would have known. And maybe, just maybe, she would have returned my feelings and I could have prevented her from leaving._

_She's gone now, and there's nothing I can change about that anymore. But if there's one thing I would have done differently in my life, it would have been this._

'"I would have kissed her", Master Fiyero? Seriously?' The professor looked at the Vinkun Prince over his glasses, and Fiyero crossed his arms in front of his chest. 'Yes.'

'That's all you can come up with?'

Fiyero's face darkened. 'It's not what you think, professor.'

'And you would have told her you loved her?' Dolorn looked sceptical. I'm sorry, Master Fiyero, but I doubt you even have the faintest idea what love is.'

'I didn't,' Fiyero agreed, to the professor's surprise. 'Not until it was too late.'

Dolorn eyed him curiously. 'Who, may I ask, is this girl you're talking about? I know you're together with Miss Glinda, but this clearly isn't about her.'

Fiyero hesitated. 'I'm sorry. I can't tell you.'

Dolorn's eyes softened when he saw the sincerity and the – was that despair? – in the boy's eyes. 'Okay. I understand. Thank you for your honest answer, Master Fiyero. You may go now.'


	9. Elphaba

**AN: I think I received more reviews on that last drabble than I got on the first seven together :P.**

**So, Failey... were your mind-reading powers working? (And were mine?)**

**Elphaba-WWW: yep, these ones are post-DG, while the others are still at Shiz, but without Elphie. (Didn't I mention that in my first AN? When I put the Assignment-drabble up? I might not have - I intended to, but I'm a horribly chaotic person, so sorry if I didn't :3.) **

* * *

**Elphaba**

It had been purely coincidental that she had been sneaking by the classroom window as Professor Dolorn had explained the assignment to the students. She had come back to Shiz a few times in the past few years, to check up on Glinda and Nessa – and yes, she'd admit it, Fiyero – but her timing couldn't have been better. She sat herself down in the grass under the window and thought about the question.

_A decision I regret deeply…_

'Defying the Wizard' would be the obvious answer, but to be quite honest, she didn't regret that in the slightest. She only regretted the way it happened, how she had left Glinda behind. And her sister, left to take care of herself. And Fiyero, just as they had gotten to grow a bit closer…

But no. He was off limits to her. He was Glinda's boyfriend. Not to mention the fact that she was a wanted fugitive now.

She sighed. Perhaps she regretted none of her conscious _decisions_… but the truth remained that she left pain and destruction in her wake. She had disgraced her father, abandoned Nessa, hurt Glinda by leaving her…

Perhaps she was a wicked person after all.

When Professor Dolorn happened to walk over to the window when class was over, to close it, he found a small note on the window sill. He closed the window, picked up the paper and unfolded it. What he read there, caused a frown to appear on his face.

_I regret being born._


	10. Enigma

**AN: So from now on, the drabbles don't really have anything to do with each other and they're mostly Shiz-era - unless I tell you otherwise :).**

* * *

**Enigma**

Elphaba Thropp, Prince Fiyero Tiggular of the Vinkus decided, was an enigma. And not in a good way.

She was strange. That much was for sure. Not just because of the green skin, although that definitely contributed to it; no, it was more than that. Those freaky powers of hers. The fact that she always spoke up in class, always knew the answer or challenged the professor, to the point where it just became annoying. Even the fact that she didn't seem to care about anything the other students said about her. It was _strange_, and somehow it pulled him to her at the same time, no matter how hostile and sarcastic she could be.

_Whoa,_ he called himself to order. _It pulls me to her? What? What in Oz am I thinking? She's green. She's hostile. She's creepy. I am _not _being pulled towards her in any way._

She was weird, he decided. Period.

Or at least, that was what he was trying to tell himself.


	11. Flirting

**Flirting**

Fiyero looked up strangely when Elphaba entered the classroom and brushed past him. 'Well hello there, brainless,' she said in a seductive tone of voice, giving him a wink and a smirk before moving on to her seat. He stared after her for a moment until Galinda squealed behind him. 'Yes, Elphie, very good! Only next time you should call him something nicer, like 'honey' or 'sugar'. 'Brainless' isn't really a compliment to a guy, even though in Fifi's case, it's true.'

He started to understand now. 'Are you teaching Elphaba how to flirt?'

Galinda beamed at him. 'What do you think?'

Fiyero stared after Elphaba in mild amazement. 'I'm impressed.'


	12. Observation

**Observation**

He studied her for a moment. He realised that she wasn't nearly as ugly as he had first thought she was. Sure, she was green, but there was something about that that suited her, somehow. It made her different, certainly, but not necessarily badly so. Her features were sharp – although not nearly as sharp as her tongue – but those features, too, seemed to fit her. She was skinny – not just slim or slender, but really _skinny_, in a bony and rather unflattering way – yet she moved with a grace Galinda could take an example on. She almost seemed to soar when she walked, and despite the fact that she wasn't exactly pretty the way other girls, like Galinda and her friends, were; even despite the horrendible braid and glasses and the even more horrendible clothes; she still had some sort of beauty about her that was unique to _her_. She was pretty in her own way. He hadn't really realised that until now.

Just then, she caught him staring at her and her face hardened as she bristled – the change from relaxed to completely on edge as she shifted her focus from her work to him was remarkable. 'What?' she snapped.

He turned away. 'Nothing.'


	13. Pranks

**AN: This is too short for a oneshot and too long for a drabble, and it was just some really weird, random idea that popped into my head when I was bored during a lecture - again.**

* * *

**Pranks**

'No, Avaric, please don't!' Elphaba begged. 'Don't throw me in the water! I'm allergic to it! I'll die!'

Avaric just rolled his eyes. 'No one is allergic to water, green bean. You're just trying to talk me out of it. I'm having way too much fun to stop – perhaps this will teach you to hold your tongue next time. I don't tolerate anyone calling me a brainless twit, and certainly not you.'

'Avaric, stop it!' Fiyero came running towards them, waving his hands in the air. 'She really is allergic! You'll kill her!'

Avaric was holding her over the lake, grinning as she struggled to break free. 'Too bad, then. One… two…'

'Please don't!'

'Three.' He let go, and she plunged into the water, causing it to splash up. Avaric grinned, but his grin slowly faded when the water started to sizzle and Elphaba screamed. He stared, wide-eyed, as she turned into some kind of green goo, leaving nothing behind. He tried to grab her and haul her back up, but his fingers grasped nothing but a jelly-like green substance, and he cursed. 'What the hell…'

Fiyero was still running towards him, but now with a murderous look in his eyes. 'What have you _done_?!' he yelled, and Avaric blanched. 'I'm going to kill you!'

Avaric's eyes widened to the size of saucers. 'I… I didn't mean to…' he stammered. Then he ran away.

Fiyero stopped and grinned; then he knelt down next to the lake. 'Fae?'

She poked out her head from between the reed. 'Is he gone? Did he buy it?'

Fiyero nodded, and she grinned as she climbed out of the water. 'Finally, a spell that actually comes in handy. Thank you, Horrible Morrible. The look on that boy's face was totally worth it.'

Fiyero chuckled. 'Perhaps this will teach him to stop harassing you.'

'Oz, I hope so.' She linked arms with him. 'Let's get back to my dorm, I'm freezing.'

And when she casually walked into class that afternoon and greeted Avaric with an innocent and slightly smug, 'Hi, Avaric', she was absolutely sure that she'd never seen anything funnier in her life than his utterly shocked face – his eyes were quite literally bulging out of his head and he looked as if he was about to faint.

Her grin widened. Oh, yes. Totally worth it.


	14. Field

**AN: Don't ask. Like, really. I was watching Ellen DeGeneres and this joke came up, and at the word 'scarecrow', a random, senseless drabble immediately forced its way into my mind and I just had to write it down.**

**I know the Nobel prize doesn't exist in Oz. Just pretend it does for this drabble :P.**

* * *

**Field**

'What's up, buddy?' one of the Crows that had landed in the cornfield near him asked in amusement. 'Can't get down?'

Fiyero glared at the Animal. 'I'm tied to a _pole_. I don't even have muscles. How do you expect me to get down?'

The Crow smirked. 'Need some help?'

Fiyero gritted his teeth – though really, now that he was a Scarecrow, he didn't exactly _have _teeth anymore. 'Yes, _please_.'

'Too bad!' the Crows whooped in unison, rolling over with laughter. Fiyero just heaved a sigh and rested his head back against the pole, gazing up at the sky, trying to think of… nothing, preferably. Where that had been practically natural to him only a few years ago, he found now that he couldn't do it.

'Hey guys!' one of the Crows yelled, disturbing his thoughts. 'Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize?'

'Why did he?' another Crow asked with a grin, and the first Crow snickered, 'Because he was outstanding in his field!'

The Crows doubled over with laughter again, while Fiyero just heaved a deep, heavy sigh. 'Kill me now.'


	15. Brushing

**AN: This was requested by Zelda Rules, and since I love requests and I love Fiyeraba fluff, I wrote it :). It's rather long for a drabble... This one is Shiz-era, somewhere after the Lion Cub scene, but before Elphaba leaves for the Emerald City. Zelda Rules, I actually liked the subject so much that I think I'm going to insert it somewhere in one of my multichaps as well :).**

**If any of you have other requests, please tell me!**

* * *

**Brushing**

'Galinda?' Fiyero opened the door to the girls' dorm room. 'I just came to ask you- whoa!' He quickly ducked out of the way as a hard object came flying towards his head, accompanied by a frustrated shriek. He looked up, only to find Elphaba sitting at the vanity, arms crossed, glaring at him. 'Don't you know how to knock?'

'If I'd known my life would be in danger if I didn't knock, I would have knocked, believe me.' He closed the door behind him and quirked an eyebrow at her. 'So is there any particular reason why you're trying to kill me or were you just bored?'

She rolled her eyes. 'Please. I didn't try to kill you. Don't be overdramatic. Not everything is about you, you know,' she sneered, but he just nodded with a small smile. 'True.'

She went back to glaring at him. 'Galinda is not here.'

'I figured as much.' He leaned down to pick up the object she had thrown at the door – a hairbrush. 'You know, I'm not an expert, but I don't believe girls usually use hairbrushes to attack other people with. I do think they serve other purposes.'

'Well, _you _would know, Mr. My-hair-is-always-perfect,' she grunted, and he grinned at her, touching said hair. 'You think my hair is perfect?'

She blushed and looked away. 'No.' She growled and pulled her fingers through her tangled strands of raven hair, a look of disgust on her face. Then she abruptly got up. 'That's it. I'm going to cut it.'

His eyes went wide. 'What?' She was already on her way to the desk, snatching scissors from it, and he practically tackled her in his attempt to yank them out of her hands. 'Are you crazy?'

'I hate my hair,' she declared. 'It's way too long, it's always tangled and it's always in the way. I'm going to cut it. Now give me the scissors.'

He shook his head. 'I won't let you cut it. You have beautiful hair. Come on.' He lead her back towards the vanity and, grumbling, she sat down. He picked up the brush and took some of her hair in his hand, then hesitated and looked at her via the mirror. 'May I?'

She sighed, but gave in and nodded. He smiled at her and started brushing, carefully untangling the silky strands. 'I love your hair,' he commented softly, and she bit her lip. _I love you._ But of course she didn't say that out loud. Instead, she said a bit bitterly, 'Aren't you more into bouncy blonde curls?'

He blinked at her mirror image, surprised. 'Actually, no,' he said truthfully, continuing his brushing. 'Your hair is way prettier than Galinda's.'

She nervously twisted a strand of said hair around her finger, trying her hardest not to blush.

He continued to brush her hair and slowly, she started to relax a little, though she was wondering frantically what this meant. _My best friend's boyfriend is brushing my hair. Is that weird? Would Galinda be mad if she knew? Does this count as cheating on her? No, of course it doesn't, it's just hair brushing. But why _does _he even want to brush my hair? _

She watched him in the mirror, careful to keep her own face unreadable. He seemed fully concentrated on his task, studying her hair as if it were some kind of precious treasure, a small smile playing around his lips. Her own lips turned upward for a moment when she saw that, but she quickly composed her face again.

The brush lingered above her hair for a moment, hesitant. 'You know,' he said finally, 'the other day, with that Lion Cub-'

'Don't,' she cut him off sharply. She knew what he was going to say, and she didn't want to hear it. He could never love her. He loved Galinda. She _knew _that. But that didn't mean she wanted to hear him say it.

He looked at her via the mirror, his sapphire blue eyes serious. 'I think about that day a lot.'

_Damn that blush. _'You do?' _Of course he does, it was the day he almost cheated on his girlfriend because _you _couldn't keep your hands to yourself!_ a voice in the back of her head screamed. _Seriously, what made you think that he would ever want to touch the Artichoke? _'I'm sorry for… for back then.'

He seemed genuinely surprised. 'What? Sorry? Why?'

She bit her lip. 'For… dragging you into it in the first place. For yelling at you.' She averted her eyes. 'For touching you.'

He stopped brushing. '_What_?!'

He knelt down next to her, putting the brush down on the vanity and turning her around so that she had to look at him. 'Elphaba… why in Oz should you be sorry for touching me?'

She looked at him sceptically and gestured towards her skin. 'Do you really need to ask?'

He looked shocked. 'Is that why you think I ran away?'

She looked up at him. 'Wasn't it?'

He shook his head, speechless. 'No! No, that wasn't it at all!' He grasped her upper arms, sending shivers down her spine and causing her stomach to flutter. 'You don't have anything to be sorry for,' he said solemnly, gazing down into her eyes. 'Not for touching me, and not for dragging me into it, or for yelling at me, either. I deserved that,' he said with a small laugh. His gaze became more intense. 'If anything, _I _should be sorry,' he said quietly, and she bit her lip. 'What for?' she asked, her voice only barely audible.

One of his hands moved to touch her cheek and her breath hitched in her throat. 'For running away,' he whispered, which caused more shivers to run down her spine – not that she really minded. She blinked at him and he moved his fingers to graze her jaw. Oz, she was so beautiful…

He leaned a little bit closer. Her eyes started to flutter shut…

'Elphie, I'm back!' Galinda squealed as she burst through the door. As if stung, Fiyero and Elphaba sprang apart, Fiyero jumping backwards and nearly stumbling over a pile of clothes, Elphaba jerking away so violently that she sent the hairbrush and a few other things from the vanity flying towards the floor. She quickly ducked under the vanity to collect them – and to hide her furious blush.

'Fifi!' Galinda squealed, pecking his cheek. 'What a nice surprise!'

He rubbed his neck, cursing his girlfriend's timing. 'Um… yeah.' He cleared his throat. 'Um, well, I just wanted to ask you… um…' In all honesty, he _really _couldn't remember what he had come to ask Galinda in the first place. 'If you… um… wanted to come on a… date with me? Tonight?' he tried, and her face lit up immediately. She threw her arms around him and kissed him. 'Of course! I'd love to!' She started chattering about what she would wear, and he looked over her head at Elphaba. With a pang, he noticed that she had wrapped her arms around herself protectively and that she wouldn't meet his gaze. He kicked himself mentally. _Great cover, Fiyero. Asking Galinda on a date right in front of Elphaba – very subtle. _And not what he wanted, either, but he couldn't turn back now.

'So Fifi, let's first go to the hairdresser together then, shall we?' Galinda continued, linking her arm with his and pulling him towards the door. 'Bye, Elphie!'

'Bye,' the green girl whispered, and Fiyero looked back at her, wanting to say something, but not knowing what he could say with his girlfriend there. 'Elphaba?'

She still refused to look at him. 'Bye, Fiyero.'

He sighed, but allowed Galinda to pull him out of the door. It slammed shut behind the couple and Elphaba squeezed her eyes shut, determined to keep her composure. _Don't be stupid_, she told herself. _Don't wish, don't start, remember? He loves Galinda, and Galinda only. Everything you think he feels for you is in your head. You're being an idiot._

She curled up on her bed with a book, but couldn't concentrate on it, her gaze constantly drifting towards the vanity and the hairbrush that was still lying there.

She sighed again and dug her nails into the palm of her other hand. _Just accept it, Elphaba. _She pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them, resting her chin on her knees.

_You're not that girl._


	16. Non-believer

**AN: Wow. Your reactions to my latest oneshot were overwhelming... I personally wasn't even too fond of it, but apparently, you were :P. That's why I'm giving you this drabble. **

**Stefy: I know. I watched that episode because Wicked was in it, but I didn't think it was all too great.**

**Lily: Your review gave me this idea. Here you go :).**

**Failey: That's a good idea, too... perhaps I'll do that sometime.**

**Zeldra rules: Sorry. Inspiration strikes whenever it strikes :3. I'm working on both MtbB and Shadows right now, and there are some mean cliffies coming :D (Watercolor already knows what I mean)...**

**Elphaba-WWW: Okay, I'll crawl in a hole. ... Storygasm? Seriously? xD That made me laugh so hard.**

**So anyway... I'm glad you liked it. If you haven't read Costumes, this one probably won't make much sense to you; it's a companion piece/sequel-ish something to that oneshot. Because you all liked that boy so much.**

* * *

**Non-believer**

'Hey, you're the Wicked Witch lady from the party the other day!' the little boy exclaimed. Then he frowned. 'Why are you still wearing your costume?'

'It's not a costume,' she told him in exasperation. 'I'm the Wicked Witch of the West.'

He nodded solemnly. 'Keep telling yourself that, then other people will believe it, too.'

She looked at him incredulously. Behind her, she could hear Fiyero stifling a laugh. 'I _am _the Wicked Witch!'

'You still don't look old and ugly enough.' He eyed her up and down critically. 'And you need a wart. A wart with hairs on your nose.'

'I don't have any warts!' she yelled at him. The boy cocked his head in confusion. 'No, that's exactly my point.'

He tapped his chin. 'I'd like to meet the _real _Wicked Witch sometimes,' he grinned. 'Mommy says she's really scary and her cackle sends shivers down your spine.'

Elphaba threw her head back and cackled the best she could. The boy nodded seriously. 'Better than before,' he deadpanned. 'But still not even close to the real thing. See? No shivers.'

Her face flushed. 'Why, you obnoxious little-'

She was cut off by Fiyero clamping a hand over her mouth. 'He's a kid. Don't say anything you might regret later,' he warned her.

She struggled against him, still fuming, but he didn't let go, afraid that she might hurt the boy. 'Fae, come on, let's just go.'

She suddenly stopped squirming and a devilish grin spread across her face. 'Yes,' she said innocently, grinning now. 'Let's _go_.' She took her broom and waved it in front of the boy's face. 'Watch this, kid.'

He nodded his appreciation. 'Nice broom.'

She smirked and moved one leg to the other side. 'Get on, Fiyero,' she commanded, and he obeyed, holding her for support. 'Ready?' she asked, and when he nodded, she looked at the boy. '_Watch this_,' she hissed at him, before kicking off and flying high up in the sky, cackling. The boy followed them with his eyes. 'That cackle was still wrong!' he shouted up, but then they flew higher and he stared at them, impressed.

'Believe me now, kid?' Elphaba yelled down, and the boy waved at her enthusiastically. 'Nice special effects!' he shouted back.

Elphaba's face fell and became a thundercloud as Fiyero was having a fit of laughter behind her. 'I'm going to kill someone now,' she deadpanned, and he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek. 'No, you're not. Be glad that there are at least _some _people left in Oz who don't see you as a wicked witch.'

She heaved a sigh. 'I suppose so.'

Beneath them, the boy was shouting, his both hands around his mouth. 'Keep practicing that cackle! And just consider getting that wart!'

Elphaba gritted her teeth and steered her broom towards the western sky.

* * *

**Reviews are very much appreciated :).**

**And I'll tell you how Sister Act was when I next update either MtbB or Shadows - I have to go now :3.**


	17. Believer

**AN: I don't remember who it was and I'm to lazy to search back, but one of you suggested I concluded this weird little series with a drabble in which the boy is finally convinced of Elphaba's being the Wicked Witch. So here you go.**

* * *

**Believer**

'Hey, lady! You again!' The boy waved at her and she suppressed a groan. 'What?'

He seemed disappointed. 'You don't have a wart!'

She sighed. 'No, I don't.' She wondered if it would be rude to just fly off and ignore him. It probably would be. But on the other hand, who cared? She was the Wicked Witch of the West!

'Let me hear that cackle,' he commanded, and she glared at him. 'No.'

He pouted. 'Ah, please?'

She grumbled. 'Okay, kid, listen and listen carefully,' she said, grinding her teeth. 'I _am _the Wicked Witch of the West. The one and only. The green isn't paint, the broom isn't fake, and the flying is just that – flying. No special effects involved. And that cackle? It's _my _cackle. No one cackles my cackle better than I cackle my own cackle!'

The boy grinned at her. 'That's the spirit.'

'Argh!' She pulled at her hair, almost desperate by now. 'Why don't you _believe me_?!'

'If you're the Wicked Witch,' he said pointedly, 'then why is all of Oz so afraid of you?'

'Because the Wizard and Morrible are two giant big frauds and _wicked _persons!'

'So you're trying to tell me that you're the Wicked Witch,' he concluded, and she sighed again. '_Yes_.'

'You're trying to tell me that the Witch isn't old and ugly, but young and, well, kind of pretty… and that she's actually not wicked, just tricked by the _really _wicked people.'

'_Yes_!' she exclaimed in exasperation. 'Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to tell you!'

He shook his head, laughing. 'Good story, Miss, but I don't believe you.'

She bristled. 'You know, I could make the rumour about the Wicked Witch cooking children in her soup come true right now,' she grumbled, but just then, a woman came out of the house. Elphaba quickly took off and the woman started screaming. 'Iorgo, look out! It's the Wicked Witch!' She pulled her son behind her protectively, and he stared up at her with huge eyes. 'She's the Wicked Witch?'

'Yes! Can't you see? She's green and she's flying on a broomstick!'

'But I thought…' She started pushing him towards the door. 'Get inside, I'll go and get your father!'

The woman ran off and Elphaba landed in front of the shocked boy, quirking an eyebrow at him. 'Well?'

'You're… you're the Wicked Witch!' he stammered, and she rolled her eyes at him. '_Yes_, I am the Wicked Witch!' she confirmed in exasperation. Finally, _finally _it had gotten through to that stubborn little head of his.

He blinked at her, obviously believing her now. 'But…'

She tapped her foot impatiently. 'But _what_, kid?'

He frowned, seeming a little indignant. 'Why didn't you say so before?' he asked accusatorily.

She smacked her forehead.


	18. Fruit

**AN: I actually felt pretty bad for making Fiyero go through this again while I was writing it. That didn't keep me from sniggering, though. Let's just say I think in images.**

* * *

**Fruit**

'Hey, guys!' one of the Crows yelled. 'Look at this! He's still up here!'

_Oh, no_. Fiyero tugged at the ropes with which he was tied to the pole, but of course it was of no use. _Not them again. Please, just let them go away._

The Crow started singing. 'When all the cows were sleeping and the sun had gone to bed, up jumped the scarecrow and this is what he said: I'm a dingle, dangle scarecrow with a flippy floppy hat-'

'SHUT UP!' yelled Fiyero. 'Haven't you had your fun by now? Can't you just help me down or leave me alone?'

'Aren't we a grumpy little scarecrow!' The Crows rolled over with laughter again. 'Hey guys!' one of them yelled. 'What's a scarecrow's favourite food?'

'Please don't!' Fiyero begged. He tugged at his ropes again. 'Is someone out there?' he shouted in exasperation. 'Could someone _please _take me down before I lose what little brain cells I had in the first place?'

'Straw berries!' the Crow roared, nearly toppling over with laughter. 'Get it? Strawberries, straw berries? Because he's made of straw?' All of them laughed their heads off, clapping each other on the shoulder and congratulating the one Crow on his brilliant, brilliant joke.

Fiyero banged his head back against the pole.


End file.
